I've never read the book, but maybe I should...because right at the moment, I think it's total horseshit. To watch horrible, terrible things happen to kind, warm, fantastic people that you love is...well, horrible and terrible and what a feeling of helplessness.
Our neighbors and dear friends were 23 weeks pregnant with twins - that they have tried so hard to conceive. That they wanted so very badly - for them and to give their 3 1/2 year old son, a brother or a sister (or surprise! 2 of them!). She glowed - beyond the pumped up hormones - haven't drank a sip of alcohol in weeks/months - I'm taking great care of myself "glow" - of many pregnant women. She was on cloud-fucking-nine. And we were all so, so happy for her and so excited for ourselves to get to have these babies to love and spoil.
2 weeks ago, she started having some pain and she was having some labor contractions. She was in the hospital, stayed a week and then was able to come home on strict bedrest...which she abided by diligently. Yesterday she started having the pain again and off to Riverside they went. By midnight last night they said a baby or babies were on their way - nothing they could do to stop it. At 23 weeks. Nothing they could do medically to intervene.
She had to deliver these beautiful, perfect babies - hear their cries and then, no cries. They will have to tell their so happy, excited, kiss-mommy's-belly-all-the-time 3 year old that those babies have gone to heaven.
What I'd like to read is "When Good People Happen to Bad Things"....I need to know - how do we help them? How do we take a horrible thing and shower them with so much love that they have faith and hope again? How?????????
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2 comments:
Oh my gosh Christa, I'm so sorry for your friends, and for you. The grief that rings in your post is poignant and justified.
I often ask who makes these efin rules. I'm sure you already knew that.
You're a great friend. You will find the right way. There are no keys. There are no rules. We all just do as we go along.
All that you can do is be there and listen, offer a kind word when it's needed and hope that your friends find peace. But you knew all that already because like I told you: "You're a great friend."
All that being said, if there is anything we can do, any way we can help - please do not hesitate to ask. Parents should not have to say goodbye to their children this way. It's a club nobody deserves to belong to.
Big hugs and love,
Jim
Christa, what absolutely heartbreaking news. I am so saddened by the loss that your friends have suffered and by the pain felt by all who love them. I'm praying for all of you.
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