Runaway Mom

Once in a blue, blue moon there are fleeting thoughts that run through my head...the "how and why am I here?" as in a wife, mom, suburb girl, etc...

Tonight I had one of those - the rose bush has black spot fungus. bummer. As I'm sitting on the porch with my book, avoiding the fungi, Justin hands me some rose anti-fungal stuff, tells me the directions and then goes back to what he is doing in the garage.

In that 2 seconds as he walks away, I think "really? do I have such a life that I have to care or worry about black spots disease on roses? - why this? why aren't I traveling in Italy? Spain? tropical islands? Why aren't I a Sex and the City girl? an actress, a big shot exec, a hippie artist girl..." and then, as quickly as the thought comes...it is (mostly) gone.

But (of course...) it makes me wonder...what if those thoughts took root? what does it take for that 2 second thought to turn into the woman that runs away, leaves her husband, kids and just disappears? Terrible husband? horrendous kids? weak wife/mother? another man? a nervous breakdown? the inability to tune out (the noise, the stress, the constant "mama, mama mama") long enough to pull yourself together? Or something greater like a gaping hole longing for something that is not being fulfilled in the current life?

I've read books with runaway moms in them. I wonder, how far would I get? If I hit 70 West, how far would I make it? Dayton? Indy? DENVER?? Would I even make it to the next exit? Maybe, but I'd call and check in often :-)